Acceptance: The Path to Inner Peace

I have covered some aspect to acceptance in various chapters earlier in this book, especially in Chapter 5. Acceptance is not inaction, but an act of self-empowerment. It is the first step on the path to inner peace. This chapter will explore what acceptance is, why it is important, and how to cultivate it in our lives.

Acceptance is the realization and acknowledgment of the present moment, without resistance or judgment. It is the willingness to embrace reality as it is, and the recognition that we cannot change that which we are unwilling to accept. We cannot change the past or control the future. Acceptance is not about giving up or resigning ourselves to a future we do not desire; rather, it is about finding peace in the present moment, regardless of our circumstances. J. K. Rowling writes in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire:

Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.

How can we accept the emotionally unacceptable? How can we find peace in the midst of chaos, suffering, or uncertainty? How can the cruelty of war, injustice, and human sacrifice be accepted? These are difficult questions, and there are no easy answers. It is hard to accept what we do not understand. To have deeper understanding, we must listen.

There has been a devastating war raging for nearly four years in Ukraine. Millions have been displaced, thousands killed, and the world has been left reeling. How can we accept such suffering and injustice? How can we find peace in the midst of such chaos? Similar atrocities have been committed in Gaza, Syria, Yemen, and other parts of the world. The scale of human suffering is overwhelming. Yet, the world struggles to find answers.

Had the West been willing to listen to Vladimir Putin about the indiscriminate killing of indigenous Russians living in Ukraine, or Russia's security concerns, had NATO not expanded to the western borders of Russia, perhaps the war could have been avoided. The Palestinian-Israeli conflict is more nuanced, as both sides are devoutly committed to the destruction of the other and denies the other side's right to exist. The killings there could have only been avoided had the international community been willing to exert influence on both sides to change their murderous attitudes and behaviors.

Active listening, with the intent to understand, is a powerful tool for cultivating acceptance. When we listen deeply to others, we open ourselves to new perspectives and insights. We begin to see the world through their eyes, and we develop empathy and compassion. This, in turn, helps us to accept the reality of their experiences, even if we do not agree with them. "Seek to understand, rather than be understood", says the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi. Listening means much more than hearing the words spoken; it means listening to the interstitial spaces between the words; it means being fully present, with an open heart and mind. Listening means the intent to seek to understand, rather than to respond.

This leads me to most difficult step of letting go of resistance. While listening leads to understanding, that does not automatically lead to acceptance — especially when the subject matter is emotionally charged. Resistance is a natural human response to threatening or uncomfortable situations. It is a defense mechanism that helps us to protect ourselves from harm. However, resistance also creates suffering. When we resist reality, we create a sense of tension and conflict within ourselves. It is a response of the ego, which seeks to control and manipulate our environment to suit its desires. See Chapter 3.

How do we let go of resistance? The willow trees along the riverbank provide a powerful metaphor. In the face of strong winds, the willow bends and sways, rather than resisting the power of the wind. By yielding to the wind, the willow is able to survive and thrive. The mighty oak tree's rigid branches snap, succumbing to the force of nature. Similarly, when we let go of resistance, we become more flexible and adaptable. We learn to flow with the currents of life, rather than fighting against them. In the words of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow,

For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.

Remember that your world view (your Weltanschauung — yes, it is in the English dictionary) is an ego construct; it is mind-made, just like time, money, and death. It is not reality. Reality is what is, regardless of your opinion about it. Acceptance means recognizing that your world view is not reality, and being willing to let go of your attachment to it.

The answer lies in cultivating spiritual practices that promote mindfulness, compassion, and self-awareness. Meditation, prayer, and other contemplative practices can help us develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us, allowing us to radiate acceptance, peace and love even in the most challenging situations.

Continue your journey to love.